ok aaron gave me a great idea of a thread....

a southern couple walks out of divorce court and the ex wife is crying her heart out.... the man looks over at her and say "for pete sakes your still my sister!"

ok aaron gave me a great idea of a thread....

a southern couple walks out of divorce court and the ex wife is crying her heart out.... the man looks over at her and say "for pete sakes your still my sister!"


thats not a joke!:icon_flaming: Thats BOOMBOOM's personal experience!:laugh:

whats blonde, brown, blonde, brown, blonde, brown?

whats blonde, brown, blonde, brown, blonde, brown?


^^ Your ex

:rofl:

^^ Your ex

:rofl:


Madona doing cartwheels

thats not a joke!:icon_flaming: Thats BOOMBOOM's personal experience!:laugh:

libbs, libbs, libbs, i'm dissipointed in you.... you should know when someone imbreeds they get a little child called LIBBS:jester: not the master of all (me) boomboom:jester:

libbs, libbs, libbs, i'm dissipointed in you.... you should know when someone imbreeds they get a little child called LIBBS:jester: not the master of all (me) boomboom:jester:

Master of all? PFFT! You drive a neon. the end!

yep but you still got beat by a NEON!!!!:jester:
so how do you like your beer cooler in your glove compartment???:cheers2:
hey libbs.... can you beat a semi stock 5.7L 2004 GTO..... I bet not:B4:

yep but you still got beat by a NEON!!!!:jester:
so how do you like your beer cooler in your glove compartment???:cheers2:
hey libbs.... can you beat a semi stock 5.7L 2004 GTO..... I bet not:B4:

LOL all this funny bashing....:argue: :jester:

ehhh we are all friends here... i think it's an unspoken code for me and libbs to bicker:jester:

I think the bashing is much better than their jokes.

I think the bashing is much better than their jokes.


ya, :rofl:

yep but you still got beat by a NEON!!!!:jester:
so how do you like your beer cooler in your glove compartment???:cheers2:
hey libbs.... can you beat a semi stock 5.7L 2004 GTO..... I bet not:B4:

I've never seen a GTO because those cars SUCK and nobody bought them! Its nothing more than an over-glorified cavalier.

And my beer cooler doesn't work :(....its the worst invention EVER:icon_flaming:

I've never seen a GTO because those cars SUCK and nobody bought them! Its nothing more than an over-glorified cavalier.

And my beer cooler doesn't work :(....its the worst invention EVER:icon_flaming:

the cooler works fine in the fall/winter/spring, but when my car sits in teh sun in a parking lot all day, the cooler sucks. There is definitly insulation around the cooler, but not enough.

Its meant to keep drinks cold while you drive somewhere, not necessarily to keep drinks cold while parked in the sun in a parking lot.

the cooler works fine in the fall/winter/spring, but when my car sits in teh sun in a parking lot all day, the cooler sucks. There is definitly insulation around the cooler, but not enough.

Its meant to keep drinks cold while you drive somewhere, not necessarily to keep drinks cold while parked in the sun in a parking lot.


dont forget the AC needs to be on.....and I drive with my windows down during the summer

dont forget the AC needs to be on.....and I drive with my windows down during the summer

ya i always have the AC on pretty much :notallthere:

I've never seen a GTO because those cars SUCK and nobody bought them! Its nothing more than an over-glorified cavalier.

And my beer cooler doesn't work :(....its the worst invention EVER:icon_flaming:

it's not a glorified cavi it's a glorified grand am... geesh get it right:jester:

glorified grand prix more like it, :jester:
im just putting this in because it says jokes in the title and also becasue jeff dunhams the ****...

knock knock

Who's there...

i keel you!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

he proves that when you put a puppet on your hand you can get away with saying anything

i keel you!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

he proves that when you put a puppet on your hand you can get away with saying anything

very true, funniest stuff ever!! :rofl: <- me while watching him

heres the joke thread for ya UN4GTBL.

heres the joke thread for ya UN4GTBL.

Ah! Thanks!

...dang I'm the last one to post in it before you found it :jester:

:jester::jester::jester: , jokes on you! JK.

:jester::jester::jester: , jokes on you! JK.

ha ha! too true!

Ok here's one:

Two priests walk into a bar...

:jester: i thought it was two jews. wait, what kind of bar? it's a trick joke.

:jester: i thought it was two jews. wait, what kind of bar? it's a trick joke.

ha ha! Ya it is, but i dont know the rest of the two jews one...i was gonna say it but then i didnt want to look racist...:rofl:

OK, so there's three guys who all want this hot blonde lady, a Canadian, an Italian, and a Chinese guy. So she says that whoever jumps off the CN tower and lives can marry her.

So the first guy climbs the stairs gets to the top and jumps off...SPLAT...
The second guy climbs up the CN tower thinks about how he wants to land and such so as to live and jumps off hoping for the best...SPLAT...
The Chinese guy walks up the stairs jumps off and lands on the ground next to the blonde.

She is dumbfounded and asks him "how did you do that?" He replies: (imagine this as a song/rhyme) "Me Chinese, Me no dumb, me stick parachute up me bum..."

**Again, not meant to be a racist joke**

OK, so there's three guys who all want this hot blonde lady, a Canadian, an Italian, and a Chinese guy. So she says that whoever jumps off the CN tower and lives can marry her.

So the first guy climbs the stairs gets to the top and jumps off...SPLAT...
The second guy climbs up the CN tower thinks about how he wants to land and such so as to live and jumps off hoping for the best...SPLAT...
The Chinese guy walks up the stairs jumps off and lands on the ground next to the blonde.

She is dumbfounded and asks him "how did you do that?" He replies: (imagine this as a song/rhyme) "Me Chinese, Me no dumb, me stick parachute up me bum..."

**Again, not meant to be a racist joke**

LOL. a joke and a rhyme. I love it.

One of my favorites:

A brunette lady goes to see her doctor complaing about pains all over.
She says "See doctor, when I poke my arm here, it hurts" <she pokes her arm>
...
" and when I poke my leg here, it hurts" <she pokes her leg>
...
" and when I poke my stomach here, it hurts" <she pokes her stomach>

Then the doctor interrupts.
"Wait a second. I know what's wrong. Are you really a blonde?"

Surprised, she says "Yes! How'd you know?"

The doctor says "Because it's your finger that's broken"

One of my favorites:

A brunette lady goes to see her doctor complaing about pains all over.
She says "See doctor, when I poke my arm here, it hurts" <she pokes her arm>
...
" and when I poke my leg here, it hurts" <she pokes her leg>
...
" and when I poke my stomach here, it hurts" <she pokes her stomach>

Then the doctor interrupts.
"Wait a second. I know what's wrong. Are you really a blonde?"

Surprised, she says "Yes! How'd you know?"

The doctor says "Because it's your finger that's broken"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

That reminds me....

How do you know a smart blonde?




















By the brown roots :rofl: :rofl:

One of my favorites:

A brunette lady goes to see her doctor complaing about pains all over.
She says "See doctor, when I poke my arm here, it hurts" <she pokes her arm>
...
" and when I poke my leg here, it hurts" <she pokes her leg>
...
" and when I poke my stomach here, it hurts" <she pokes her stomach>

Then the doctor interrupts.
"Wait a second. I know what's wrong. Are you really a blonde?"

Surprised, she says "Yes! How'd you know?"

The doctor says "Because it's your finger that's broken"


:rofl::rofl::rofl: that's good stuff

my gf's a blonde and she insists that dying her hair makes her not do dumb ****. then i tell her blonde's a lifestyle and not a hairstyle. she can't change it.

:rofl::rofl::rofl: that's good stuff

my gf's a blonde and she insists that dying her hair makes her not do dumb ****. then i tell her blonde's a lifestyle and not a hairstyle. she can't change it.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

:rofl::rofl::rofl: that's good stuff

my gf's a blonde and she insists that dying her hair makes her not do dumb ****. then i tell her blonde's a lifestyle and not a hairstyle. she can't change it.

:rofl:

How about this old one:

A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog.
He starts spinning the dog around on the end of his leash.

The bartender says "hey man, what are you doing?"

The blind man says "oh, nothing. just looking around"

How about this old one:

A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog.
He starts spinning the dog around on the end of his leash.

The bartender says "hey man, what are you doing?"

The blind man says "oh, nothing. just looking around"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

BEST MAC & CHEESE eh? I'm so hungry now, thanks :jester:

How about this old one:

A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog.
He starts spinning the dog around on the end of his leash.

The bartender says "hey man, what are you doing?"

The blind man says "oh, nothing. just looking around"

:rofl::rofl: poor dog thou, have some blind man's dog pukein on the floor just so the guy could look around.

:rofl::rofl: poor dog thou, have some blind man's dog pukein on the floor just so the guy could look around.

:jester::jester::rofl::rofl:

If the dog is puking while he's spinning around...

I'd hate to be someone else in that bar!

the dog would get a swift kick in the azz.
speaking of spinning, i've done that to my cat a few times and then he tries to walk, falls over within a step, and starts rolling over to keep his head straight while his eyes are still rolling around in his head. a few seconds later he comes back up purring and lays on me so i guess he doesn't mind too much.

He wasn't lying on you because he likes what you did to him, he was laying on you, probably hoping he would puke on ya.

He wasn't lying on you because he likes what you did to him, he was laying on you, probably hoping he would puke on ya.

:rofl: :rofl: :jester:

ohhh if that cat puked on me :icon_flaming:

ohhh if that cat puked on me :icon_flaming:

I'd puke all over it probably, :rofl:

ohhh if that cat puked on me :icon_flaming:

:jester::jester::laugh:

Knock, Knock...

No takers?

Here's one that came from a spam post on the caliberforums...

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office. "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom，he's dead." Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."

:rofl:

Knock, Knock...

Who's There?

More spam jokes:

What are men really like? 　　Men are like.....Bank Accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate much interest.　　Men are like.....Bike helmets. Handy in an emergency but otherwise they just LOOK SILLY.　　Men are like.....Computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.　　Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.　　Men are like.....High heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.　　Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.men stop reading here. That is the end of thejoke.　　women keep'a scrollin'...　　So your lives suck if you count on men. By the wayif you're a man and you're reading this this illustrates another point: men never listen either

another one:

When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. 　　One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?" 　　"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly. 　　"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?

another one:

OUCH!

I'm getting close to that point... but hopefully that never happens :)

OUCH!

I'm getting close to that point... but hopefully that never happens :)

ya for sure!

Ok, let finish that Knock knock joke.

Ok, let finish that Knock knock joke.

right...

Who's There?

Boo...

right...



Boo...

Boo who?

yea, boo who?

good jokes btw, like the one that hung the guy out to dry. like a girl's never done that before

Boo who?

There's no need to cry about it

:jester:

There's no need to cry about it

:jester:

:laugh::laugh:

There's no need to cry about it

:jester:

That one starts with a Boo...

and ends with a Boooooo


:rofl:

:laugh::laugh:

That one starts with a Boo...

and ends with a Boooooo


:rofl:


:rofl: :rofl:

OK, I don't remember exactly how the joke went, but it's similar to this. For those of you that heard this before, sorry for the poor delievery.


a man, dying of cancer, went to see his lawyer to update his will.

man: When I die, I want my tombstone and obituary to read that I died of AIDS.
lawyer: Why, when you have cancer?
man: Because I don't want any other man to sleep with my wife after I am gone.

OK, I don't remember exactly how the joke went, but it's similar to this. For those of you that heard this before, sorry for the poor delievery.


a man, dying of cancer, went to see his lawyer to update his will.

man: When I die, I want my tombstone and obituary to read that I died of AIDS.
lawyer: Why, when you have cancer?
man: Because I don't want any other man to sleep with my wife after I am gone.

Worked for me :rofl: :rofl: :jester::jester:

OK, I don't remember exactly how the joke went, but it's similar to this. For those of you that heard this before, sorry for the poor delievery.


a man, dying of cancer, went to see his lawyer to update his will.

man: When I die, I want my tombstone and obituary to read that I died of AIDS.
lawyer: Why, when you have cancer?
man: Because I don't want any other man to sleep with my wife after I am gone.

:rofl:

A good lawyer joke:


A man is about to die, and wants to be buried with some of his money. So he calls in his Priest, and his Golfing Buddy, and his Lawyer into a meeting.

He told all 3 of them that he was going to give each one $10,000 cash now, and when he died, he wanted each one to put the $10,000 into his coffin so he could be buried with it all.

They all agreed.

And sure enough, 2 weeks later, the man dies.
All 3 men attend the funeral, and it's a wonderfully solumn event.

After the funeral they get together to discuss the money.

The golfing buddy breaks down in tears and admits that he didn't put the money into the coffin. His kid needs braces, and his wife needs surgery, so he kept the money.

The priest follows suit and confesses. He too kept the money. His parish has alot of homeless people, and he used the money to build a new shelter.

They both then look at the lawyer.

He looks at both of them in disbelief.

He says "I can't believe you two would violate his trust and keep his money like that!"

The priest responds "So you put the $10,000 into the coffin?"

The lawyer states "Of course."

"I wrote him a check and layed it next to the body!"

A good lawyer joke:


A man is about to die, and wants to be buried with some of his money. So he calls in his Priest, and his Golfing Buddy, and his Lawyer into a meeting.

He told all 3 of them that he was going to give each one $10,000 cash now, and when he died, he wanted each one to put the $10,000 into his coffin so he could be buried with it all.

They all agreed.

And sure enough, 2 weeks later, the man dies.
All 3 men attend the funeral, and it's a wonderfully solumn event.

After the funeral they get together to discuss the money.

The golfing buddy breaks down in tears and admits that he didn't put the money into the coffin. His kid needs braces, and his wife needs surgery, so he kept the money.

The priest follows suit and confesses. He too kept the money. His parish has alot of homeless people, and he used the money to build a new shelter.

They both then look at the lawyer.

He looks at both of them in disbelief.

He says "I can't believe you two would violate his trust and keep his money like that!"

The priest responds "So you put the $10,000 into the coffin?"

The lawyer states "Of course."

"I wrote him a check and layed it next to the body!"

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

OK, I don't remember exactly how the joke went, but it's similar to this. For those of you that heard this before, sorry for the poor delievery.


a man, dying of cancer, went to see his lawyer to update his will.

man: When I die, I want my tombstone and obituary to read that I died of AIDS.
lawyer: Why, when you have cancer?
man: Because I don't want any other man to sleep with my wife after I am gone.

hell i wouldn't

A good lawyer joke:


A man is about to die, and wants to be buried with some of his money. So he calls in his Priest, and his Golfing Buddy, and his Lawyer into a meeting.

He told all 3 of them that he was going to give each one $10,000 cash now, and when he died, he wanted each one to put the $10,000 into his coffin so he could be buried with it all.

They all agreed.

And sure enough, 2 weeks later, the man dies.
All 3 men attend the funeral, and it's a wonderfully solumn event.

After the funeral they get together to discuss the money.

The golfing buddy breaks down in tears and admits that he didn't put the money into the coffin. His kid needs braces, and his wife needs surgery, so he kept the money.

The priest follows suit and confesses. He too kept the money. His parish has alot of homeless people, and he used the money to build a new shelter.

They both then look at the lawyer.

He looks at both of them in disbelief.

He says "I can't believe you two would violate his trust and keep his money like that!"

The priest responds "So you put the $10,000 into the coffin?"

The lawyer states "Of course."

"I wrote him a check and layed it next to the body!"

:rofl::rofl: that's funny. lawyers are pretty smart though

This Thread Is Getting Jacked By The Ghost Of Boomboom... Since Boom Past Away From A Freak Turtle Accident His Ghost Is Now Here To Let You All Know.... He IS Still Watching!!!!
THE URBAN LEGEND!!!

its not a good joke. and After reading it I did not laugh.